Dependence

RETURN

It’s been about two months since my squad touched down in America after the craziest year of our lives. We immediately dove into the deep end of “I missed you”s and “welcome home”s and “how was it?”s. Adjusting to the reverse-culture-shock wasn’t as hard for me as I thought it would be…I jumped right back into hot showers, comfy beds, and air conditioning without much hesitation! I did however notice a deeper appreciation for these things. There was always a moment of gratitude when I realized there were no tricks to getting the shower to get hot or that I didn’t have to put in earplugs when I went to sleep because my roommates were still awake. (although, I still find myself reaching to throw my toilet paper in the trash can every now and then haha) 

Landing in DFW! (Chick-fil-A in hand!)

My biggest struggle actually revolved around talking about my Race. First, I realized pretty quickly that I felt a huge pressure to prove to the people back home that my Race was worthy of all the money and effort and sacrifice. Do I whole-heartedly believe that it was worth it? 100%. But the burden of selling my life to other people was exhausting and overwhelming. Second, I’m still trying to figure out exactly what happened this past year. It was a whole year of pure, unfiltered life. I don’t have quick answers to every question…I have long, round about, take you down some side roads, come back around and still-might-not-answer-your-question kind of answers haha! 

PSL 

After being home for a month, our squad met back up in Georgia for a final debrief called Project Searchlight (PSL). It’s a week filled with worship, time to process, and encouraging messages from inspiring Christian leaders. 

Going into this week I was pretty set on finding a job in the States. Maybe marketing? Maybe event planning? I was in the middle of updating my resume, researching companies, and spiffing up my LinkedIn profile when it was time to head for Gainesville, GA. 

I Squad together for the last time! 

Each day at PSL, they had leaders come in and share what they were doing in the world. We heard about discipleship schools, Christian-founded businesses, and opportunities to lead others on mission trips similar to ours. A few days in I was completely overwhelmed. I felt my heart being pulled in a hundred different directions. Was my decision to pursue a job and be “financially responsible” a bad decision? Absolutely not. Would God be with me every step down that path? Heck yes. But was that where my heart was pulling me? No.

So, I took my feelings and thoughts to God and we talked about it. I was frustrated because I have student loans to pay every month, which basically render me unable to do anything besides get a job and earn money to funnel straight to the government. I felt like my heart had a passion to stay in ministry, but I was completely and utterly financially unstable. Then God said, “Emily you are financially stable. What do you want?” And so I wrote down some things that I knew I wanted in this next season – things like spiritual growth, an opportunity to give away what was poured into me, the ability to pay off my loans each month.

Then something just clicked and it suddenly made sense. I knew there was a need for leaders for trips leaving in September, it checked off everything I wanted in this next season, and it was bring Kingdom! “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added to you” (Matt 6:33). If God was putting a desire in my heart to lead a mission trip that leads Christians into deeper intimacy with Him and to bring His love to the nations, why would He put immovable obstacles in my way? That’s just it…He wouldn’t. So I said YES!

WORLD RACE SEMESTERS

World Race Semesters trips are offered to 18-20 year olds. It is a three month trip that offers a chance to grow deeper into relationship with God, live in biblical community, and spread the love of God to the nations. I get to lead one of these trips that’s going to Ecuador and Peru! 

So, the only thing I knew was there were a bunch of college-aged kids leaving the States in September and it would take $3000 and a backpack full of clothes to get me there. I didn’t know the details, the exact dates, or even what countries I was going to – but one thing I knew for sure was my heart was on fire. 

Back in June, one of my old teammates prayed a prophetic word over my next season of life. It was dependence. This next season was one of fully depending on the Lord. And wow does that ring true. Even if I tried, I wouldn’t be able to scrounge up $3000 and then some to pay off my loans each month…I was completely broke. I’m also going to be discipling young adults – something I’ve never done before! But I am choosing to lean into God, trust that I’m in His hands, and that He will get me to where I need to go. I constantly have to remind myself of 2 Corinthians 12:9 – the greater my weakness, the greater His strength. 

We start our leadership training this Saturday, August 24th. My prayer and goal is to be fully funded by then! If you want to support me financially and donate to my trip you can use this account. If you want to be praying, please pray for me to be spiritually rested to pour into these kids, for the hearts of the Racers to be open and seeking, and for God to do incredible things in and through these next few months! 

P.S. I’m going to continue using this site to post blogs and updates on this upcoming trip – feel free to hang around or unsubscribe!