I am reading this book called All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten. It is a collection of stories by Robert Fulghum all about the little lessons we are taught as kids that carry more weight than we realize (it’s an easy read, and I definitely recommend it). One story he tells is about the classic childhood game hide-and-seek and it really got me thinking.
Hide-and-seek has a basic premise. If you’re “it” you count to 60 while everyone goes and hides, and once you reach 0 it’s your job to go and find the people hiding. Of course we all know that one kid who was so good at hiding that everyone would just give up after a while. They would climb a tree or hide in a nook no one knew existed or basically bury themselves in the dirt to be perfectly camouflaged.
I feel like we think that’s how we find God. We think He is this mysterious, hidden guy and we go out and try to find him – at church, in prayer, through knowledge, under the bed. Sometimes we find Him and win! But sometimes you don’t find him…and you’re just left frustrated calling out “olly-olly-oxen-free,” signaling those try-hards to come out because you give up. This way of seeking God sucks.
Robert Fulghum’s story talks about hide-and-seek, grown-up style. “Wanting to hide. Needing to be sought. Confused about being found.” We don’t want people to know. We wonder what people will think. We don’t want to burden anyone. A neighborhood game of hide-and-seek has commenced and Robert sees a kid hiding under a pile of leaves in his front yard. He has been hiding there for a while and his friends back at home-base are starting to give up. So, Robert yells through the window, “GET FOUND, KID!” The kid basically pees himself and runs home to his mom, but I think he had the right intention.
There’s a similar game called Sardines and it’s sort of the opposite of hide-and-seek. If you’re “it” you go and hide somewhere, and everyone else comes and tries to find you. Once someone finds you they join you and hide with you where you are. Eventually you have a bunch of people packed in like sardines (yes, it all comes together now) waiting for the last person to find y’all. By the end of the game somebody starts giggling and then people start laughing and then everyone is found.
I think this is how our chase for God really turns out. We go off somewhere and shimmy into the best hiding spot in the house. We want to hide away our fears, our shame, our struggles, our weaknesses, our sin. But I think we wait there in expectance of being found. When we shut out the rest of the world and hide away, we all secretly hope some will notice and draw near to us. That’s when God comes and finds us there. And he gets right in there with us. With our fears, our shame, our struggles, our weaknesses, all of it.
Being found is scary. Allowing someone to find you and know you – the crazy messed up stuff and all – is absolutely terrifying. Being found by God is scarier. He is this big guy, also casually known as “the righteous judge” and “holy one”…woah.
Adventures In Missions asks a lot of deep, personal questions during the World Race application process. They straight up ask you about your sin-struggles and your past and all that dirty stuff. It’s easy to want to hide all those things and assume that if they really knew you they wouldn’t want you. That they would rebuke you in the name of Jesus! or something dramatic and scary like that.
But God is actually pretty cool. Not only does he already see the stuff you’re trying so hard to hide, he already loves all of those broken parts of you. He doesn’t say, “Hey I’m gonna come and get into this hiding place with you, but first you gotta get rid of all this sin.” He gets in there with all of our crappy stuff and he just wants to be with us.
Despite my fears, I chose to be real in my application and show Adventures In Missions who I was, through and through. And instead of judging me or condemning me, they showed me grace. How else can we receive grace if we don’t ever admit and confess that we need it? When we hide our sins and weaknesses we don’t leave any room for grace. It’s a daily choice to come to God and let Him have his way with my crappy stuff. There’s still a fear that when I show Him what I’ve been hiding He will reject me and be disappointed in me. But just like Adventures In Missions did, He shows grace. And His grace covers everything. Everything.
Then, as we trust Him and set our fears, shame, struggles and all that crap at His feet, He starts to use those things for good. I know it sounds crazy, but if He can take the worst day in history – the day our only hope died on a cross, paying a debt he didn’t owe, and was separated from his heavenly father – and making it the most glorious day in all of eternity…then how much more can he take our bad stuff and turn it into something remarkable!
And so I’ll yell out the window with Robert to all those who have hid too good:
Get found, kid! Olly-olly-oxen-free.
